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tv   Countdown With Keith Olbermann  MSNBC  December 4, 2009 1:00am-2:00am EST

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which of these stories will you be talking about tomorrow? an actual vote in the senate on the health care bill? the mammograms amendment has passed. >> the first and only plan senate republicans bothered to draft is an instructional manual on how to bring the senate to a screeching halt. >> the author of that manual is shocked, shocked to discover that anybody has figured out what he's trying to do. >> is it not reasonable that we should have a full, complete and fair debate on this health care bill? >> for the next 75 years. our special guest senator ron wyden of oregon. senator franken pushes a bill to defend employees of contractors like kbr from being raped by their co-workers, then from having co-workers defended by kbr and themselves threatened. the republicans claim this is political grandstanding. rape rationalizing republicans claim it's political
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grandstanding? you want me to take a photograph with you? you betcha, i'm your hero. that will be $16. sister sarah charging her fans for personal photos. worsts, candidate lou loses part of the racist anti-immigration vote. and fox does it again editing a clip from jonathan stuart to make him look like a denier. caddie shack gang-up. the original member of the foursome recants her denial, then cancels her news conference. then our friends at apple daily introduce us anew to television news. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> how long before there's a version of this for wii. 3 woods, elin woods, tiger woods. all the news and commentary now.
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>> i really don't feel like playing anymore. good evening from new york. after days of being slammed for stalling the health care debate, days in which not a single amendment was voted upon, even the ones they sponsored, senate republicans angrily denied stalling and magically the voting began. our fifth story as senators get the first chance to add to or subtract from the bill that democratic leader reid brought to the floor, we get our first glimpse at where the fault lines lie and who stands on which side. first closed-door action continues. senator jay rockefeller told reporters about, quote, a new initiative on the public option upon which he would not elaborate he says is taking shape between progressives and conservative democrats. democratic whip durbin identifying the public option as one of two key issues standing between democrats and the passage of their bill.
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the other issue, abortion also at center stage today. democratic senator ben nelson making explicit that he would join republicans in preventing an up or down vote on the whole bill unless language restricting the funding of federal abortions is not dramatically strengthened. from a victory for women senate voted to stop insurance companies from making female policyholders pay anything out-of-pocket for mammograms or preventive services. all but three republicans voted against it. suffering another loss, senator john mccain who proposed stripping the bill of $400 billion in savings from federal medicare spending after the aarp pointed out the bill targets waste and fraud without cutting a single guaranteed benefit and senator "kill grandma" grassley said it would kill senior citizens, mccain's amendment went down. the vote on mccain amendment blocked by senate republican mitch mcconnell, revealing considering yesterday mccain said he offered it under direction of his party leadership. proving an amendment and then blocking a vote on it sounding suspiciously like stalling.
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a claim that senator reid made today references a gop memo he told you about yesterday. >> the plan that we had hoped from the republicans would be that -- it would be a plan to make insurance more affordable, we wanted to make health insurance companies more accountable and a plan to reverse the rapidly rising health care costs and draw down our deficit. but, no, the republican plan we've waited weeks and months to see doesn't do any of those things. in fact, it's not even about health care at all. even though it's on the health care bill, this plan that they've outlined. the first and only plan senate republicans bothered to draft is an instructional manual on how to bring the senate to a screeching halt. we knew that was happening anyway, but they had the audacity to put it in writing. >> senator judd gregg, author of the memo, responded slowly. >> it is ironic, is it not, that the majority leader would come
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to the floor and complain about an innocuous statement which outlines the rules that members of the senate have, a statement which i suspect he actually would pass out to his members for information were they in the minority, maybe even in the majority. isn't there an ironic inconsistency to his outrage on the fact that we have suggested that people should know the rules here, while he has basically tried to go around the rules? >> who do you think you're talking to, third graders? innocuous? just outlining the rules? some snippets. a point of order with or without cause. unlimited number of amendments germane or nongermane. delay is created by the two roll call votes. time-consuming motions can also be used to extend consideration. joining us now from the senate debate is oregon democrat ron wyden. senator, thanks for your time tonight. >> thank you, keith. >> delays delayed. let's talk first about the
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specifics of this latest version of the trigger now under consideration for the public option. what can you tell us about it? >> we've got to make sure, keith, that the public option has real teeth in it. we've got to make sure that it's within reach of all americans, because the bottom line is the consumer ought to have the chance to give the insurance industry an ultimatum. that ultimatum ought to be treat me right or i'm taking my business elsewhere. we're willing to look at a variety of different approaches to doing this, but ultimately the public option has got to be about having choices for the consumer to hold the insurance industry accountable. >> how do you get that area olympia snowe, too? >> my sense is that we're going to have some pretty passionate discussions over the next few days, but ultimately, this is about holding the insurance companies accountable. if at the end of the day a single mom who, for example, isn't eligible for subsidies doesn't have choices, that's not going to do it. i wanted to see mccarron-ferguson be changed so we lift this ridiculous rule that doesn't apply the antitrust
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provisions to the insurance industry. but we have to have real choice. it's got to have real teeth and got to be within reach of the public. right now the congressional budget office says only about 3 million people would even be able to take the public option. that's not good enough. >> is it a zero sum game? to get snowe, do you have to lose sherrod brown or vice versa or can there be something found that will allow people who vote for it to say, yes, this is a public option and to believe it and for it to be a public option and for those who voted against it or those who voted reluctantly for it say, no, it's not that big a deal? in other words, can it be phrased in such a way it is palatable to those right on the borderline of yes or no? >> i believe it can. and i think there's a lot of goodwill on all sides because at the end of the day, the american people know that it is time to turn the tables on the insurance industry. what the insurance industry has been doing in many respects is
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inhumane. they've been cherry picking, taking just the healthy people. it's going to be a challenge to bring together 60 votes. i believe it can be done, because there are senators of both parties who believe it's time to hold the insurance industry accountable. >> politico senator boxer responding to the ben nelson quote over the abortion language. she says, i think he's said different things at different times. can you either elaborate upon or dispute her implication there? >> i do believe that it is going to be possible -- and senator nelson has strong views about this. i respect it -- to appreciate the rough consensus we have in this country. we ought to protect a woman's right to choose. we certainly shouldn't turn the clock back on this. also there is the hyde amendment that bars fund for abortion. i think it's possible to write into the bill the text i described and get health reform out of the united states senate by the end of this year. you look at the past week.
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it took us four days, for example, to move just a handful of amendments. you commented on this manual on obstructionism. for some of these folks, putting out a manual on obstructionism is like offering swim lessons to dolphins. of course they're good at obstructing. that's something that they feel strongly about. they're entitled to have their opinion heard, but not open-ended delay. >> why did they do it for three days and then stop? did something change? and do you think the republicans are going to plan a sit-in now or programs lie down in front of your car? >> i think the american people are watching that we want to have a real debate on this. the american people aren't interested in robocalls and aren't interested in campaigning. that's for the political consultants. united states senators are supposed to have debates. we're supposed to make sure all side have a chance to air views and then we vote. >> senator ron wyden of oregon. as always, great thanks for stepping out for a moment and joining us. let's assess the political
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state of play with msnbc political analyst howard fineman and senior washington correspondent and political columnist at "newsweek" magazine. he's the entire magazine himself. >> it's a mouthful. >> cutting to the chase, it's howard fineman week. good evening. let's pick up where senator wyden went off, the republicans stalling. anything to add about this? >> yeah, i think a couple things. first of all, the role of john mccain is fascinating. >> he didn't say it but mentioned it. the robocalls are a reference to john mccain in arizona, correct? >> yeah, exactly. and mccain, some people thought, me naively being one of them, back after the election, that mccain might have been an ally and good soldier with barack obama in a spirit of bipartisanship. what a fantasy that was. that's all over with. mccain is the point of the lance here. the republican strategy at least this week, in addition to the delay, is to try to gin up as many votes on medicare or
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commutation of medicare, medicare advantage, medicare, spending of medicare, to force democrats into the position, especially ones up for re-election in swing states, of having to say, yes, we need to make some cuts in some spending related to medicare. then come the 30-second ads and robocalls. that's what john mccain is up to. that's a big part of the republican strategy right now. >> the new, new, new public option and the new trigger, politics in a second but obviously senator rockefeller wouldn't say anything about it and i tried it with senator wyden with rare failure. not on my part but he's usually detail oriented. do we know anything about it or why is it a secret? >> it's a secret because harry reid is involved, the democratic leader. they know how important this is. they got to get some version of a public option in there to ensure that something comes out of the conference committee, if they ever get to conference with house and senate, that there's some form of public option in the final legislation that they vote on.
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harry reid's people say there are three key things -- abortion, public option and taxes. there are half a dozen different permutations and combinations here, keith over who funds the public option. is it, quote, community-based in some way, some mix of public and private and yet publicly supported, or federal money? that's one. number two, the timing. when does it come in? the third thing, is it opt-in or opt-out? that's the rubik's cube they're working with. i don't know exactly what rockefeller's plan is. it's yet another combination of those three things. >> the politics of it, is there strategy to this if there is a bid for the olympia snowe's vote, republican vote? who is reid counting as a no on his own side? >> well, it's not clear. i think they were encouraged by the fact that olympia snowe was very much involved in the vote on the mammogram issue and some other things. it's clear that she is going to be in a constant state of play.
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you're really looking at a universe, for the most part, of about half a dozen senators, senator snowe being one of the republicans, perhaps senator collins. on the democratic side, you have got landrieu, lincoln and nelson. and then you've got outliers occasionally like russ feingold who chimed in on the mammogram issue today. i think what reid's people tell me is vote by vote, issue by issue, they're going to be sort of standing on the street corner looking to lose one and looking to pick up one. it's impossible to say on any one vote who that will be. but if and when it comes down to a final vote, i think the person they're looking to on the republican side is clearly olympia snowe, which is why they have to get some kind of language on public option since she's so out there committed in opposition to it to get her. that's what rockefeller is working on right now. >> senators standing on street corners. i think we've heard that before somewhere. howard fineman of "newsweek" and also howard fineman magazine and
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msnbc. thank you. then there was another senate bill touching on women's health that has already passed. it would preclude the government giving contracts to companies which deny female employees the right to sue for discrimination or sexual assault even. 30 republicans voted against it. they are now angry that they are being depicted as having voted to, in essence, protect rapists, this even though they voted, in essence to protect rapists. national car rental knows i'm picky. so, at national, i go right past the counter... and you get to choose any car in the aisle.
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choose any car? you cannot be serious! okay. seriously, you choose. go national. go like a pro. 30 senate republicans claim they're being politically victimized just because a bill that would have made it impossible for government contractors to cover up the rapes of female employees by male employees and republicans voted against the bill and for the coverer-ups of the rapes. sarah palin charging people at her book signings to take pictures with her. and the new day has dawned. there is tonight a second chinese newspaper computer recreation of the life and loves of tiger woods, which is not only interesting by itself but doubtless be the next thing in american tv news.
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30 republican senators having voted against an amendment which would prevent the government from doing business with military contractors that deny their employees the right to sue for discrimination including for sexual assault. 30 republican senators furious about the heat they have been taking ever since for putting corporate enablers of rape ahead of women who have been raped. 30 republican senators now blaming not themselves for the considerable fallout but in our fourth story on the "countdown,"
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targeting the democrat who deigned to introduce the amendment, restoring victims' rights if not decency, senator al franken of minnesota. and i'm not kidding. you will recall mortified by a former halliburton employee jamie lee jones who alleged she had been gang raped at 19 while working for the government in baghdad he introduced the amendment to the pentagon spending bill. it passed 68-30. 10 republicans voted yes, 30 voted no. those republicans now mightily steamed how they are being portrayed for their votes. and because of that, senator franken is not doing enough to sign it, senator graham of south carolina saying it would be helpful for senator franken to come forward and say i am not saying anybody who votes for my amendment is indifferent. saying what he knows of franken he expected such tactics. some senators like jon cornyn of texas alleging senator franken isn't abiding by the unwritten rules of the senate. quote --
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others like senator thune of south dakota blaming the liberal blogosphere which apparently rules the world. quote -- i guess he's saying rape isn't important to the voters of minnesota. time to call in our own eugene robinson, associate editor, pulitzer prize winning columnist of "the washington post." good evening. so 30 republicans voted against an anti-rape amendment in essence and now want the amendment sponsor to explain why their votes against it were okay as if it's his fault that they've been, you know, just merely misunderstood here? >> yeah. that's it in a nutshell and does it make any sense? no, it does not make any sense. stop him before he makes us vote
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this way again. they might have read it before they voted on it or before they had the kind of knee-jerk reflex to vote the corporate position on a piece of legislation without fully understanding what it was intended to do. >> but earlier this month, this week, there were some republican sources who privately acknowledged that they had failed to anticipate the political consequences of a no vote on this amendment. is the inference from that being that they don't believe the no votes are the problem, only that they've become a public embarrassment? >> oh, clearly the embarrassment is the problem. if no one had noticed and if no one had called them out on it -- which, by the way, it isn't al franken, senator franken who is calling them out on it. it's various others in what they would call the demonic liberal blogosphere.
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but, clearly, i haven't heard from those 30 senators expressions of remorse for having cast this vote but, rather, remorse for their vote having been made public and been made an issue. >> well, then we need a secret ballot in the senate, don't we? it would simplify -- >> do we have to write this stuff down? come on. >> don't need those reporters there or anything like that. the thune statement which he says al franken is taking them on, i -- maybe i'm just being naive here, but i thought the amendment was designed to take on military contractors who may not be conducting themselves in concurrence with decency or law. >> exactly. it was not an attack on republican senators who might vote against it. the legislation had a specific purpose, and it sprang from that case, was inspired by that case that you talked about in the intro. and it is -- it is amazing that
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the senators would, again, be casting the blame on senator franken, when all they had to do was read it and then make a decision about it. the ones who did read it -- i assume some of them did -- decided it wasn't a worthy piece of legislation. that's a fine position for them to take. it's just that they do write down these votes, there are reporters in there. and at the end of the day, people get to know about it and they get to form opinions about it. so this is kind of unseemly whining about something they did themselves. >> but is it really insightful. did we get insight from cornyn talking about the unwritten laws of the senate? is it essentially you only pretend to read some of this stuff and really not know what's going on and somebody tips you from the other side. it's -- what was the movie "advise and consent" where peter wafford had to wake up the senator who was asleep and would wake up and say oppose. oppose! no, no, i think you're in favor, senator. aye, aye.
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are those the unwritten laws of the senate, nobody pays attention? >> well, maybe. one imagines that senator franken was supposed to go around to each of them and explain, if you vote against it, i realize it might anger some of your corporate friends, but you're going to catch a lot of heat on this. the senate's rules are arcane. its byways are folkloric. this is one i never heard of. i don't think you have to give side effects for every senator. >> a surgeon general's warning on the side of the legislation. of your mileage may vary. >> if trouble from the liberal blogosphere lasts more than four hours, see a doctor immediately. >> break glass. gene robinson, pulitzer prize winning columnist of "the washington post." great thanks and great thanks for being silly as always. the rule and sister sarah said she didn't know this. this was the book store's idea. the rule was you had to refer to and address her as governor.
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but there was one other rule she's not denying, she's profiting off of it. sure you can pose for a picture with the half a governor for $16. $36 for a big one. big deal. i'll just use my phone. let's say we crashed. whoops, you lost your phone and you're disoriented. i'm not disoriented. now you are. onstar automatic crash response can call to see if you're ok. onstar emergency. is everything ok howie? you don't answer, they can automatically send help to your exact location. i think i'll ride with you. the award-winning malibu. from chevy. let the all-new help bring your family to the table this holiday. from timeless favorites like campbell's green bean casserole to new classics like swanson herb roasted turkey with pan gravy and pepperidge farm holiday brie en croute even clever ideas that give leftovers a full makeover. for inspiration, family pleasing recipes and 15 dollars in valuable coupons,
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bests in a moment. why close counts in hand grenades and bank robbery. first, this is the birthday of east germany's last great international athlete. katarina witt who is now, wait for it, 44 years old. let's play "oddball."
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we begin with youtube video from the wedding of dana hannah and tracy paige. nothing special about the ceremony although those are hermaphroditic names. the groom took out his cell phone status to married. as the crowd chuckled, he handed his wife her cell phone to do the same and moved from facebook to twitter whereas the software jedi he wrote, quote -- seriously, dude? the couple's video has become an internet sensation and the software jedi has become a reluctant media darling evidenced by the latest tweet. which they don't. to comically sped up security camera footage inside a san diego construction office where two feet are dangling from the ceiling. i swear it's a robbery. the unidentified man got stuck as attempting to gain entry into the office. he jiggled past his waist, his
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shirt pulled up, his belly exposed. hope the tickle monster doesn't show up. eventually freeing himself and escaping. san diego police hope to find the crook. to sacramento where another dumb criminal trying to steal a camera from inside the news affiliate. unfortunately he turned the camera on and pressed record before he could get away with it. also unfortunately for him it was bolted to the floor of the van. the photographer came back to find a broken window and camera rolling and rewound the tape and discovered what you're looking at now. the criminal still on the loose and still a dope. speaking of which it's either the most innovative campaign fund-raising plan forever or the quickest way to lose fans. sister sarah charging people $16 to take a picture with her at book signings. dateline new york. number three, best cold water
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splash, the harlem gospel choir has pulled out of its appearance with glenn beck. lonesome roads beck's rally as he informed the famed singing group of beck's claim that president obama was a racist. the harlem gospel choir canceled the appearance. the official reason was the appearance fee was not enough. your choice is beck is an anti-black race-monger. or he's cheap. dateline, new york new york, the group alapac, americans for illegal immigration today announced lou dobbs deeply offended their base supporters and the group, the first to suggest he run for president, now dumped him because they say he went on the telemundo network and said, quote --
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so without all the anti-hispanic bigots in this country, lou's backers would appear to be down to o'reilly and former guest show on the dobbs show kitty pilgrim. waukesha, wisconsin, at large. arrived at the bank closing time armed with a ski mask, all of the regular bank robber type stuff. police say he entered through the main door, strolled through the outer vestibule, gripped the inner door that led to the bank lobby and then nothing happened. it was 5:36 and the banks close at 5:30. with nobody in the bank to let him in, the guy turned around and left.
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police speculate he may have been delayed by traffic. child: my school couldn't afford to buy a piano, so my mom decided to give them ours. it's the piano her dad gave her when she was a little girl. she loved it so much.
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at the risk of ruining christmas for a lot of you, there is a decent case to be made that sarah palin and santa claus are pretty similar. one lives in the north pole. the other lived near north pole, alaska. both have followers that claim they're the real deal. neither gave me the red rider bb gun i asked for. sister sarah like jolly ol' st. nick is showing up at smalls to gouge customers. the crowd lined up to meet sister sarah palin at each book tour, stop is told no personal photos with the former governor. the palin camp has its own photographer that will do the honors for you and then sell it to you. shealah craighead photography is the official palin tour shutter bug. they get books signed, have a
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photo snap and order a print. 5x7 runs you $15.99. you can have your moment turned into a refrigerator magnet or greeting card. there are thousands of pictures available from two book tour stops. they're posting the rest soon. the website says it's provided by sarah pac though it is not clear who is pocketing the cash. joining me now msnbc political analyst richard wolffe and the author of "renegade: the making of a president." good evening. >> good evening. >> shortest question ever, seriously? >> seriously! look, i wonder how brazen it is to go out and do this. you know, we thought there may have been some of us maybe possibly thought there was an attempt with this book to raise her political fortunes. it turns out she just wants to build a fortune. i also think there's a great admission here, which is that in the end, the readers, potential
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readers of this book, people buying this book are more interested in sarah palin's image. capturing that image, being close to her appearance, maybe more than her prose because it was ghostwritten prose anyway. >> does she stop these people and try to sell them gold and suggest they buy gold coins due to the upcoming -- never mind. is this -- which do you this is, the sneakiest way to raise campaign funds or quickest way to lose fans or a third explanation? >> well, it's creative. the obama campaign was creative about how to raise money itself. they sold t-shirts and mugs and key fobs and that kind of thing. and, you know, at least you were buying something kind of tangible, i guess maybe even useful if you really wanted another mug for your collection. but this is something that she's selling on top of selling something else. this is in addition to the book. there's just a -- i guess you could say it's an entrepreneurialism to it that is surprising. >> surprising? how about the other question about this.
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if it -- and it's a serious one. if the money is involved in some way with sarah pac, going to political action committee, is it legal? >> well, i don't think the question is whether it's legal in terms of how they raise the money, although you would expect some kind of disclosure for that. i don't know what there is on that website. the question is what's she's spending money on. this is where sarah palin has run into some trouble before and not just sarah palin but other politicians, too. if it's going to personal expenses as opposed to political ones, there could be legal problems. raising the money itself, you could be pretty creative in how you do that. >> it always gets worse with this particular topic so it shouldn't be a surprise. the authorities at the mall of america are apologizing for a set of guidelines leaked regarding her appearance there next week. the mall apparently planned to bar foreign reporters and wanted, quote, only english-speaking press.
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you had to address her and refer to her as governor. the palin camp says none of this came from them. are we buying that? >> you know, it's strange for malls to have rules other than no running and no kissing. but as someone who may have been foreign and can also speak english, i'm curious about those english-speaking foreigners that may be going through the loopholes are. at least we know what her foreign policy is going to be and those foreign countries that don't speak english okay. >> how about those willing to pay $36 for the extra large photos? >> straight to the front of the line and ambassadors, too. >> front of the two days' worth of waiting people. what did you get for pictures at your book signings? >> the clothed ones, of course. i was paid just with the enthusiasm of people who were engaged with politics. as they say in those mastercard ads, it was priceless. >> a portion of the female part
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of our audience just swooned. richard wolffe. i have to read this stuff, you know. author of "renegade," also with public strategies, available in brown paper envelopes. >> no, no, no. thank you. never mind this being the future of tv news. the future is here. excuse enough for us to show you the second tiger woods offering from the makers of the chinese version of puppet theater. worsts, desperation propaganda or another, quote, mistake? fox noise implies jon stewart is a climate change denier. when rachel joins us blackwater expert on reports that the company chief erik prince was a cia spy. for crying out loud, i hope he was better at that. the all-new gmc terrain. with an epa estimated 32 miles per gallon highway. may the best car win.
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from cluster fox. the other, the attempt to make jon stewart look like a climate change denier. then woods scandal girl come forward to moving news. yes, it's chapter two of the chinese newspaper's attempt to show you what no camera could see, tiger woods making out with a bunch of pixels. national car rental knows i'm picky. so, at national, i go right past the counter... and you get to choose any car in the aisle. choose any car? you cannot be serious! okay. seriously, you choose. go national. go like a pro.
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to phrase this as the innovators themselves might -- tiger animated character woods, video new one second version today, out-making shows with computerized waitress of cocktails in polo shirt, future
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of journalism is. worst persons of the world, bronze to ari fleischer now taking over as public relations man for the bowl championship series, the labyrinth-like maze that let's a computer determine football champions. one that would decide the championship on the field is, quote -- fleisher also called it, quote, an obama playoff scheme. actually, i don't know what i'm complaining about. if he does for college football what he did for mr. bush, my alma mater cornell, last national champs in '39 will be ranked one every week. gretchen carlson, news model co-host that leaves out one tiny little detail on an average of every three minutes or so, after he is named "sports illustrated" manley of the year, she interviews derek jeter of the new york yankees, calls him the
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last pure athlete in major league baseball. he seems to do everything right. so many people think you are this perfect guy. her husband is jeter's agent. has been since the mid 1990s. so how much money she and her family has is largely dependent on people thinking jeter; i don't know, what would you call it, the last pure athlete, he does everything right or he's perfect. second biggest conflict of interest imaginable and she never mentions it. and our winners, gretchen carlson and steve doocy and brian kilmeade. the other co-host of this at cluster fox. part of the made-up story they call climategate, they had a scoop. jon stewart was denying global warming. extraordinarily, doocy said, take a look at this, jon stewart of "the daily show" with bashed republicans, not democrats, really took a shot at al gore. look at this. they played this bite. >> poor al gore. global warming completely debunked via the very internet you invented. oh!
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oh, the irony! the iron-nee! >> the three chipmunks came out and talked to michelle malkin talking about how jon stewart said global warming was debunked. in fact they used a sliver to hide the nasty little detail about the fox climate-gate story. here's the whole thing. >> poor al gore. global warming completely debunked via the very internet you invented. oh! oh, the irony! the iron-knee. actually, the real story is not quite that sensational. basically e-mails stolen from scientists from one of the leading global centers at global warming show them discussing their work a bit, how shall i put this, casually. does it disprove global warming? no, of course not. >> fox which twice showed the
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wrong video to make it seem like a poorly attended event was a larger crowd attributed this to on-screen errors, this using a tenth of the jon stewart sound bite out of context, this was made by an office assistant or a temp or possibly a homeless person who wandered in and took over the show. couldn't possibly be another example of rupert murdoch's sellouts completing three-card monty to advance a political agenda. of course not. even if they're just the paid to play patsies, they're still today's worst persons in the world. , you could eliminate warehouses. streamline your supply chain, and even reach new global markets. so your business is more adaptable, more efficient and more profitable. hey, the opportunities are out there. seize them with ups. is anybody else thirsty?
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let me commence the new era
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of news with the oldest trick in the book. the tease or as it was once known the headline. the chinese newspaper that unleashed the computer generated recreation of what's supposed to have happened last friday night to tiger woods and what might have happened to him has reproduced another creation of him phoning and getting it on with computerized alleged girlfriend number two. we'll show it to you in a moment. the number one story in the "countdown" the unavoidable larger truth, the cg animation recreation jazz they call motion news it is now here for good forever. in this country, it will start at or "access hollywood" or maybe pbs news hour but eventually everywhere. not endorsing it or passing judgment on it. i'm just saying every network in this country already does it for transportation accidents and i saw it on "world news" two hours ago as a means of illustrating the white house gate crashers. and, look, when the scientists in the manhattan project perfected the atomic bomb, the world didn't sit back and say, oh, great, let's use it as a paper weight.
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and before we review the new video and the day in tiger woods scandal news, a brief confession. we may have started this. whenever there was a news story we couldn't get video of, michael jackson trial, deliberations of the college of cardinals, whatever, we in desperation and self pity turned to pop sickle sticks with principals heads on it. on the day burt reynolds playfully tabbed a producer about an upcoming film and cbs wouldn't allow anyone to see the video, we called it, burt reynolds slap a producer puppet theater. >> tell us a little bit about the movie. >> do you know anything about the movie? >> no. >> well, then, what the hell are you asking me for? >> i want to get your point of view. >> did you see the original? >> i haven't. >> what the hell kind of guy are you? these guys never seen the [ bleep ] original, he's asking me to tell him about the original. standing there in a shirt needs ironing, works for cbs.
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i'm embarrassed. i like the guy, nice guy, tough guy, wants to come on out. he can't because he's under contract with cbs but we'll meet later if you want. >> but burt reynolds slap a producer puppet theater is to apple daily puppet news, animated cartoon clutch cargo what it was to "the matrix." before we show you daily motion shows you tiger woods with jaimee scruggs, by the way, in the recreation he has an accent, let me show you the original with taipei am daily titled -- this is a computerized title. woods, broken windows at night to save his wife crash shady husband. [ speaking in foreign language ]
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>> with mariet hartley. i've seen that computer eyed elin woods chasing me in my dream for two nights. the new apple daily is not completely up to date so a brief review. tmz reported the woman it was supposed to be about, bar taker rachel uchitel had denied the internet report of an affair, then recanted and admitted there was one and woods asked her to lie about it late last night.
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today she abruptly canceled a news conference in which she and attorney gloria allred why to hold. several reported mrs. woods was not planning to divorce him or treat him to the graphite marriage counselor but said to be renegotiating her prenuptial agreement with mr. woods which would have given him in golf ling yoe no stroke penalty. no women were added today. with that precursor, back to the computerized genus that is apple daily news. it's a month old. it has been used for evil. they recreated the ambush of the four police officers in seattle, washington. but if they restrict it to tabloid stories, they may be on to something or more likely on to everything. the new title of the new episode, woods scandal girl come forward to moving news. [ speaking in foreign language ]
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>> hey, it's tiger. >> the investigation has determined that mr. woods is at fault in the crash. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> u.s. week ily, you ask? what can motion news do next, you ask? one other wood development may
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answer that. elin nordegren was the nanny for golfer jesper parnevik. he introduced them. he has told the media of the world. he said i really feel sorry for elin since me and my wife were responsible for hooking her up with him. i would probably need to apologize to her. i hope she uses a driver next time instead of a 3 iron. right now at apple daily headquarters it is 9:59 a.m. and there is some guy in a recording booth at this moment trying to say, yes, parnevik hopes elin woods drives 3 shot through tiny husband's head, in chinese. news to come. countdown for the 2,408th day since the previous president declared mission accomplished in iraq. i'm keith olbermann. good night and as apple daily would sign off, night lucky good.


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